Parshah for Parenting - Ki Tisa 5769

A few weeks ago, G-d commanded the Israelites to build a mishkan.
He was very specific in His instructions.
This week, we meet Betzalel.
G-d tells Moses that He has endowed Betzalel with
the wisdom, knowledge, and skill
necessary to create everything in the mishkan.

Thousands of years later, Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen
teaches the Torah of the Creation of the World*
when one of the world's light-containing vessels broke,
the light was scattered,
and, suddenly, there was a lot of cleanup to do.

She says that

the whole human race is a response to this need.

Each person doing a little tikkun olam
in his own way.
We are exactly what's needed to heal the world.
G-d has endowed each of us
with the wisdom, knowledge, and skill,
to meet His world's needs.

(Looking at my boys' sweet faces
I wonder -
What amazing things
will these tiny people
one day accomplish?
I can't wait to find out.)

____
*You can hear Dr. Remen tell this story here.

Birds

On a balmy weekend morning
when Abba and Ima wanted
to lounge on the couch
drink some coffee
and eat some pancakes
(the first pancakes seen in these parts since the Bar ended)

Asher decided instead
that the thing to do was
to run outside
looking for birds.

(It helps if you flap your wings.)

(Don't forget your lunchbox.)

Parshah for Parenting - Tetzaveh 5769

This week's Torah portion is all about clothes -

a description,
in meticulous detail,
about what the high priests
have to wear to work.

We learn from this portion

that you are who you are

but your clothes help you

do what you do.

(They are an outer expression of one's inner self.)

I've posted once about Ashi's fashion sense.
But I've never posted about his first true love:

hats.

Ashi is just not Ashi without a hat -
the scarlet-and-gray striped (thanks Melissa)
the penguin
or, the new favorite, the monkey (thanks Tricia*).
When he's wearing a hat, my Asher is the very essence of his name:

happy.

This Shabbat, on parshat Tetzaveh,
I bless my boys that they
will always find ways
to outwardly express
their inner selves.

_______
*Tricia custom-made this monkey hat just for us. You can visit her etsy store here and get one of your own!

Mishenichnas Adar/When Adar Begins

משנכנס אדר
מרבין בשמחה
When Adar* begins
everyone's joy increases.

(Talmud Bavli Ta'anit 29a)

(Apparently,
Asher didn't get
the memo.)

__________
*Adar is the month on the Jewish calendar containing Purim, a holiday that celebrates the events of the book of Esther and during which we wear costumes and do other joy-filled things.

Parshah for Parenting - Terumah 5769

(you shall accept gifts for Me from every person whose heart so moves him....And let them make Me a mishkan that I may dwell among them. Exodus 25:2,8)

Gifts of gold, and silver, and brass,
of fine fabrics, spices, and oils,
of precious stones.

The Israelites built this structure not so G-d could dwell in it,
but so that He could dwell among them.
No Israelite could do it alone - everyone's effort brought His presence into the community.

In our house, we have a mishkan.
It's made up kisses from Ashi,
smiles and giggles from Rami,

a morning "Modeh Ani" with Abba,

and a bedtime "Shema" with Ima,

extra morning minutes spent cuddling on the couch,

extra love baked into the cookies,

one more book read together,
one more answer to Ashi's constant question, "What's that?"

an extra round of "Mishenichnas Ashi/Rami,"

an extra minute tacked onto bathtime.

All given with a willing heart. All bringing a little more holiness into the house.
G-d dwells among us,
even though the house isn't adorned with rich fabrics or fine stones.

(In fact, our house is pretty much a disaster.)

RamRam & NevNev

Dear Nevoh,

Thank you for inviting me to your naming ceremony.

It was my first big trip out of state,

but I only had eyes for you.

Please forgive me

for throwing up

on your sleep sack.

I hope you love me still.

Love,

Rami

Parshah for Parenting - Mishpatim 5769

"Mishpatim" means "laws."
After the spectacle of the
giving of the Ten Commandments
at Sinai
comes a
long
list of
laws.
Non-spectacular.
Won't stop you in your tracks.
But Torah all the same.
Amazing all the same.

The day to day moments with the boys
are, by and large,
non-spectacular.
But they're amazing all the same.
Breathtaking
(just in their own way)

A good laugh

is sunshine
in the house.

~William Makepeace Thackeray

Parsha* for Parenting - Yitro 5769

This week's Torah portion includes the commandment,

"Honor your father and your mother."

The Talmud** comments*** on this verse
that there are three partners in the creation of a child:

his father,
his mother,
and G-d.

It also comments that a child represents
his parents' invitation for G-d to dwell among them.

(Well, obviously.)

__
*"Parsha" refers to the section of Torah that is read every week.
** The Talmud is a record of rabbinic commentary, law, and stories from around the year 500.
***Kiddushin 30b

How to Trayf up a Kitchen

Attention Jewish Mothers of Toddlers:

Would you like to keep a meticulously (or even sorta) kosher kitchen?

Too bad!

It seems that the desire to trayf up* a kitchen comes naturally to my curious toddler.

(It's a good thing he's

so cute while doing it.)

_______

*Render non-kosher by bringing in pork, mixing meat and dairy dishes, or something similarly horrific to a working Ima trying to keep some sense of kashrut in her kitchen.

What Not to Wear - Toddler Edition

Asher, like many toddlers,

is beginning to develop his own distinctive style.

He'll scream at me until I dress him in, what seems to me,

the most ridiculous collection of pieces.

(If dressing like this is wrong,
he doesn't want to be right.)

Snow

The first fall of snow is a magical event.

You go to bed in one kind of a world

and wake up in another quite different,

and if this is not enchantment

then where is it to be found?

~J. B. Priestley

Amazing auntie

"Help one another"

is part of

the religion of sisterhood.

~Louisa May Alcott

(after all this, my dear sister says,
"Thanks for having me.")

Simple Gifts

Dear Asher,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift.
How did you know I really wanted
my best white pillowcase
to be confetti-colored?

It was ingenious of you to throw

those crayon pieces into the dryer

to achieve the perfect effect.

It just goes to show that even a little boy with no cash

can make something beautiful for his Ima

if he puts his mind to it.

I don't know how I ever muddled through with solid-colored sheets.
(i.e., before you came along.)

Thank you, my sweet boy.

Love,
Ima

מודה אני לפניך
מלך חי וקים
שהחזרת בי נשמתי בחמלה
רבה אמונתך
"Modah Ani..."
I give thanks to You,
living and enduring King,
for having compassionately returned my soul to me.
Your faithfulness is so great.

~morning prayer

"Good morning, Asher. Did you say Modeh Ani?"

(My Name is Asher Lev, by Chaim Potok.)

~

This is the first prayer one says as one wakes up in the morning.
I used to take waking up for granted
and therefore never took this prayer seriously.

Then, I became an Ima.

(And I began to feel very thankful every morning when my boys woke up.)

For the past few nights, Rami has decided only to sleep when I'm holding him.
So, at 5:30 AM, I wake up on the couch, Rami in my arms, to this:

The other morning, I took 10 minutes, saying my "Modeh," and other variations on unspeakable gratitude,

for my beautiful boys,

for a beautiful life,

and for my soul, which is miraculously returned to me,

morning after morning,

to take it all in.

Which was nice.
Because then I had to
getupletthedogoutandfeedherwashmyfaceloadthediswasher
dressAshidohishairmakethecoffeegrabthedrycleaning
getsomebreakfastdosomelaundrynurserami
getAshi'scoatonpackRamiinhiscarseatkisseveryonegoodbyeand
get myself dressed.

Whew.

Artist in Residence

Who among us cannot remember

the unadulterated joy that comes with coloring on the walls?

In our house, there's always a big sheet of white paper taped right up there so that Ashi can do just that.

Isn't he a fabulous artist?

(He only had the slightest bit of help from Ima.)

(hard at work)

(proud)


(last week's masterpiece)

shidduch

shidduch (n. SHID-uhkh)

an arranged marriage; a "match"

shadchan (n. SHOHD-chuhn)

anyone who brings together, introduces, or otherwise maneuvers a couple into a meeting that results in a wedding.

God is considered the supreme shadchan...So every shadchan considers himself charged with a quasi-divine mission, and almost every Jew is an amateur but permanent shadchan.*

~

Since we started this whole child-rearing endeavor, we have known that someday, God willing, our children will get married. The only thing this is sure to bring us is holidays spent with in-laws, which has the potential to miserable or delightful. We decided to get a jump on making it as delightful as possible

(because, seriously, Passover seder is a L-O-N-G meal to spend with folks you really don't like.)

Meet Nevoh. We are great friends with her parents. We love them dearly. We would like nothing better than to eat brisket with them every Rosh HaShanah. She is first in line to pick whichever of the boys she wants.

Isn't she lovely?

Why do we expect the boys (and, for that matter, Nevoh) to listen to us and get married to the person of our choice?***

1. I (and Nevoh's Ima) gave them life.

(that's pretty much the best reason anyone could have, so I'll leave it at that.)

____
* Rosten's The Joys of Yiddish. (Old school version.)
*** Of course, we'll love them no matter who they marry. But really, is it so much to ask?

Like Weeds

The boys are growing like weeds:
they spring up almost before your eyes;

they take over your space before you know what's hit you;

and, like the infamous dandelion,

they're so beautiful that it almost doesn't bother you at all.