Ashi & Rami

מודה אני לפניך
מלך חי וקים
שהחזרת בי נשמתי בחמלה
רבה אמונתך
"Modah Ani..."
I give thanks to You,
living and enduring King,
for having compassionately returned my soul to me.
Your faithfulness is so great.

~morning prayer

"Good morning, Asher. Did you say Modeh Ani?"

(My Name is Asher Lev, by Chaim Potok.)

~

This is the first prayer one says as one wakes up in the morning.
I used to take waking up for granted
and therefore never took this prayer seriously.

Then, I became an Ima.

(And I began to feel very thankful every morning when my boys woke up.)

For the past few nights, Rami has decided only to sleep when I'm holding him.
So, at 5:30 AM, I wake up on the couch, Rami in my arms, to this:

The other morning, I took 10 minutes, saying my "Modeh," and other variations on unspeakable gratitude,

for my beautiful boys,

for a beautiful life,

and for my soul, which is miraculously returned to me,

morning after morning,

to take it all in.

Which was nice.
Because then I had to
getupletthedogoutandfeedherwashmyfaceloadthediswasher
dressAshidohishairmakethecoffeegrabthedrycleaning
getsomebreakfastdosomelaundrynurserami
getAshi'scoatonpackRamiinhiscarseatkisseveryonegoodbyeand
get myself dressed.

Whew.